i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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