I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
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