Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize