escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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