He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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