cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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