Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize