I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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