i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
