okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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