so explain again why im purple
no
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
