it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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