we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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