I can text with my tongue
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
