the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
