yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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