There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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