I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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