I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
