If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
