Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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