I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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