You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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