We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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