Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
two words...techno handjob
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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