Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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