Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize