I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
