you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize