kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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