I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
