ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just want to make out with him forever
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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