I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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