I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize