i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
