you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
