Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
