There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
