I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
These tits shall not be calmed
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
