hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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