So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
