Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
