we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
porn star boner night. come get it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
