I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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