they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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