my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
