awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
