we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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