And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
