Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
