I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
