carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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