She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
