Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
