i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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