Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize