Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
