C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
