dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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