Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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