you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
