At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize