we're chasing vodka with high fives
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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