I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize
