dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
