VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
