Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
