I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
