I wanna passion pit in your ass
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize