Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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