whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
