That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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