Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
