Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
