Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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