so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
